Chris Stewart’s works are known to many readers; Driving over Lemons was his first book and I read it back in 2004 whilst searching for a home in Andalucía. I still smile when fruit is lying on the road and hear it exploding under my tyres. His second book is called A Parrot in the Pepper Tree, so this week’s title came to me last week in Duquesa near Estepona, as come sunset there was a huge screeching from the parakeets, as they flew into the palm trees to roost for the night.
The looky looky men work 365 days a year in that neck of the woods and it’s always Africans with big smiles on their faces trying to sell the most bizarre of items. I wonder if they bet amongst themselves as to who can find the most gullible buyer. The other day one of the guys had a huge mirror shaped as a guitar, another had the entire contents of Noahs Ark available as wooden figures. Fishing reels are popular and the must have item at the moment is the bow and arrows set. Moroccans have cornered the market in rugs, lighters and dodgy looking chainsaws and Orientals have the Spanish concession for selling pirate DVDs.
Staying on the Costas, a colleague of my wife recently had her car broken into. The thieves did not break a window or use a file hidden in a cake but instead lurked nearby with a device that cloned the radio signal when she used her zapper to lock the car. Then they simply waited for her to disappear round the corner and unlocked her car using their fiendish contraption. Since then I have made sure nobody is lurking whenever I have locked my car.
Fuel prices are again on the rise yet huge price differences can be found. Around Albox a litre of premium diesel varies between 1.36 a litre and 1.47. Further afield I have seen it priced at over 1.50 a litre. I get ribbed at home when I mention fuel prices yet shopping around can save us all a lot of money. Cheap filling points can be found on the Santa Maria road near Huercal Overa (the Lidl junction I call it), also on the opposite side to Longo’s on the A334 near Albox (diesel only) and by far the best are the three fuel stations that all opposite the ITV on the A334 near Partaloa.
Authorities especially in Britain are always shoving health and safety warnings down our proverbial throats. The ‘Wet Floor’ sign is a classic example yet it is a product rarely seen in Spain and so we simply tread carefully whenever we see a wet floor. I wonder if accidents are higher in Spain because of these absent signs – probably not! Cotton buds are another example as they carry a warning not to poke them into our ears! What else should we use them for?
A den of iniquity was recently luckily busted near Zurgena and the ring leaders apprehended with nearly 450€ in cash, a microphone and the evil tools of their trade….. Bingo cards. Nasty and evil British pensioners and their vile illegal gambling activities – crikey they will injecting heroin and selling their grandchildren into prostitution next – lock em all up then deport them – Hanging is to good for them.
Those poor victimised council officials that embezzle millions and bent construction companies and lawyers that sell illegal properties can sleep easy at night knowing that police time is being used efficiently targetting insead these nasty British pensioner criminals.
Biting the hand that feeds is the saying that springs to mind. All the money that pensioners and other foreigners have poured into Spain by buying and renting property; all the money that is spent weekly in the economy by foreigners living in Spain amounts to billions of Euros annually yet police time is used to harrass and intimidate innocent souls. No wonder Spain is in the mess it is now.
And lastly, I wonder when the lady Mayor of Mojacar will finally get lynched in a dark alley, now looking much more likely since she turned half the street lights off. She recently cancelled a public meeting, set up discuss her latest scheme to kill of Mojacar by banning live music at beach bars. It’s all to stop the kids having fun for free at ‘botellons’ on the beach. Surely another solution can be thought up that won’t further screw up an already fragile local economy.