All Change

Some things seem to have been around for forever; The Queen, Steven Gerrard, Ryan Giggs, and of course old Fergie himself. I was just 20 when he first took over as manager of Manure, sorry Man Utd. Now 26 years and 1500 games later he has hung up his hair drier to spend more time with his wife, his wine and his racehorses; quite possibly not in that order. Sir Alex Ferguson is known to all whether or not the ‘beautiful game’ is followed

Pepe Reina leaves the field

and  English football will miss the man. Jamie Carragher played his last game for Liverpool and I was privileged to be in the stands at Anfield to see him one last time. An earth tremor was caused by 46,000 of us  in the 72nd minute when Carras’ shot from 30 yards cannoned off the post and we all jumped up only to slump back down in our seats a second later. Everytime he had touched the ball before then we had all shouted SHOOT. Michael Owen and David Beckham also hung their boots up for the last time.

People rarely like change and I am no different; as for seven years Movistar have treated my bank account as their own personal piggy bank. Yet I stuck with them reasoning its better the devil I know.  Weeks of my life have been lost listening to that awful ‘are we happy’ song that’s played when put on hold for eternity. Operators have kept me on the line for hours only to find out later that everything that was agreed mysteriously never happened.  Once I had a Movistar internet dongle that when I tried to cancel they said it could only be done if I knew the dongles phone number. It’s a dongle not a phone I fruitlessly explained time after time, so after months of trying I cancelled the direct debit.

Luis Suarez leaves the field ofter thanking the LFC fans for their support

I received my first solicitors’ letter from them a few weeks later with a new one popping onto the doormat every fortnight each time demanding 72 quid. This went on for two years and kept me in firelighters as my solicitor advised they would never take me to court. Finally when I needed to upgrade my phone they had me by the short and curlies so I paid up knowing some solicitor in Madrid had charged them a fortune in legal fees.

Last year when I first threatened to change operators they put me on this amazing tariff, 40€ all in apparently. All was fine the first month and then the bills climbed higher again. Finally after paying a 240€ bill for April last week – yes that’s right 240 bloomin Euros I vowed to change. Well Mrs Amore told me to in truth!

Suddenly Movistar couldn’t be more helpful, calling and texting me repeatedly, imploring even pleading with me to stay. As switchover day loomed the offers got even better. Finally when they offered me free weekly full body massages by Kylie, a chauffeur to and from work each day, a free trip to Disneyland and an iPhone 5 I grudgingly called them.

Now I realise we live in Spain and yes I do speak reasonable Spanish but negotiating a new contract and arranging flights and hotels to see Mickey Mouse has to be done in English or they may have cheekily booked me into Disneyland Paris. Movistar however, in their infinite wisdom don’t have a single English speaker in the anti-defection department, so the great escape was back on and I metaphorically clambered over the barbed wire and ran across the minefield to Vodaphone and freedom. I will have to have my picture taken with Mickey and Minnie another time.

Mrs Amore and I now have 2 very posh Android phones and a free dongle. Revenge is sweetened further as Movistar have to pop round to Casa Amore to fit a phone line so that Vodaphone can also supply us internet. I would seriously advise all stock market investors to sell their holdings in Movistar as their balance sheet will be much the poorer without me on it and the share price will surely nosedive!