Satellite telly was finally reconnected last Thursday and no time was lost catching up on the Olympics and I quickly deduced that some sports would never be aired on telly if it wasn’t for this one fortnight every 4 years. Synchronised this and rhythmic that for goodness sakes and to think squash still can’t get on the Olympic roster and wind surfing has been given the boot for 2016.
Two other popular sports are absent from the Olympic programme, golf and cricket; golf ruins a good walk it has been said even though there is massive skill involved in avoiding that big lake. In cricket not a lot of exertion goes on apart from a gentle run up to bowl or catch a ball and maybe a quick dash between the stumps for 22 yards as long as it does not interfere with lunch and afternoon tea.
Great Britain won a total of 29 gold medals, 65 in total easily beating the 19 and 47 from Beijing 4 years earlier. To continue this fantastic achievement and to inspire and promote excellence amongst British youngsters, David Cameron quickly declared Lottery funding will continue and did yet another U-turn by declaring that competitive sports would again be compulsory on the school curriculum. Boris Johnson went one further saying 2 hours a day should be the rule.
50 years of British music was showcased at the closing ceremony, gay icon George Michael looked like he had been hanging round at the school gates, Annie Lennox looked plain weird, Roger Daltrey was awesome at 68 years old, Professor May played his guitar as if powered by the Large Hadron collider at Cern, and two birds were killed with one stone by partnering Mike Rutherford from Genesis with Nick Mason of Pink Floyd. Along with youngsters Ed Sheeran and Richard Jones they played Wish you were here – released 16 years before Ed Sheeran was even born so bless his teeny bopper fans for thinking Ed had written them a new song. Boy/man band Take That were fab and the Spice Girls mimed, wore very little and grumpy looking Posh Spice oh so almost went tits up as her taxi sped off.
My middle school had an outdoor swimming pool, ideal if the school had opened it during the summer holidays. No, instead teachers cajoled us to get into the freezing term time waters, putting many of us off swimming for life. We boys rebelled at the start of our last year holding a sit down protest. The girls were too sissy to join us and our teacher Mr Venus came up with what he thought was a cunning agreement saying if we got all of our parents to write in excusing us from swimming then he would.
Result! All 15 boys came to school with original and unforged letters and Mr Venus kept his word and we were excused swimming for the rest of the year. A bonus was teasing the girls twice a week as they shuffled off to plunge into the Arctic waters! The down side was that our life paths changed and maybe there was a Michael Phelps wanabee amongst us that instead ended up playing cricket and eating cake!